well, sry I didn't write for such a long time but I WAS ON HOLIDAYS.
1. I passed my examination, but there's nothing to be proud of, I got a 2,7, so that's not that great, but well, it's problem less. After the examination I went to italy with my mom for 10 days (planned were less but those nice people there just wouldn't let us go :)). When we drove past milano (mailand) we got into after-work-traffic-jam. After 3 hours of stop and go it smelled so bad that I screamed. BUT the italians can drive, their style is just really, well, chaotic. We slept near brescia in a dump called...I don't know, something with P near lago D'iseo. it was wonderful, weather was great, warm, perfect, sunny. We went to venice, verona, brescia and lago d'garda. it was beautiful, and the fiood!!!!!!!!!! OMG, you have to eat there, and the shoes and the clothes, I never felt as much as a chick as in italy, but the stuff they have is just great. after that I went one week to my roomate in the "Allgäu", god, to many hills there...I hang around mostly with her sister who's alot like me, and as lazy, but she's 2 years jounger and doesn't really know what to do with her life, apart from the little idea to become a designer (she's pretty good at that, though). I went on a hill either and i was so finished afterwards, dunno whats wrong with me...must be my thyroxine, or the fact i didn't do sport for the last few months...hm, and the food en masse in italy.

Well, the last week was the first week of uni again. Lots of shit, but I'm allowed to do laboratory for advanced now, I have already 3 papers to solve and theoretical physics 3 and 1 (I should repeat this one) do overlap. that sucks. Then I went to kung fu for the first time on thursday, but I didn't come further than the warm-up because I got a "pratze" (it's formed foam you hold so someone else can kick or hit it, you use it in fighting sports) in my face. the girl next to me was to weak to hold it and the trainer kicked to hard and it hit me right in my face. it broke my glasses (which are out of superstrong synthetics) and hurt my eye, but there are no cuts (luckily). Just a really mean bruise. My eye still hurts and waters a bit, it was still open wenn the glass squashed it, urgh.well anyways, i'll get contact linses for training 2 times a week I guess, but i'll keep wearing glasses (their assurance pays everything). I'll do something now.

location: home mood: fear of failure music: humming of my pc

i've finishedwriting stuff together aand understanding it (i hope), so from tomorrow till the day after tomorrow I can try to pack it into my brain for the examination. whohooooooooooo, I'm finished...and tired...i should go to bed....i was tired the whole day,I think my thyroxine is cracking up again. fuck. on saturday was culture night btw, and we saw Rainer von Vielen with Kauz,great music!!!!!!!!!!! especially life, so damn good, wanna see him/ them again.

okay,I got this one from olly who got it from steffi, and I wanted to do it either, it's funny and a bit scary, but if you listen to the music most things will probably fit... you have to put your playlist on shuffle and then answer the questions with the title of the current song. i didn't cheat btw...

1. How are you feeling today?
°Björk - sun in my mouth°
-yeah (it's till early)

2. Will you get far in life?
°system of a down - american dream denial°
-ööhm, soundslike no, doesn't it?

3. How do your friends see you?
°Deftones,Korn - So this is love°
-hääääääääääääääääää? someones kidding here, but the song is heavy, but the beginning,so its okay,i guess, but the title, mfg...

4. Will you get married?
°Mozart - Fantasia°
- in my phantasy? i don't want to marry,hell.

5. What is your life’s theme song?
°Creed - Unforgiven°
- hehe *think I'm unforgiven to this world*, bit negative, but oooookay

6. What is the story of your life?
°Tori Amos - China°
-I never want to go to china, seriously,can't shut up, you know? they would put me into prison, or just kill me, stupid communist arseholes...

7. What was high school like?
°Black Sabbath - Laguna sunrise°
-the song sounds like ,yeah, chilling,hmmm---

8. How can you get ahead in life?
°anggun - on the brath of an angel°
-sounds like I shouldn't curse as much as I'm used to..

9. What is tomorrow going to be like?
°nick Cave and the Bad seeds - The weeping song°
-o noooooooooooooo,fuck

10. What is the best thing about your friends?
°stone temple pilots - down°
-well, I like playing the therapist,but i can't be happy for the world, can i?

11. What is in store for the next weekend?
°Elisa - Labyrinth°
- sounds bad, got examination on friday O_o

12. What song best describes you?
°ärzte lesetour - Spaziergang°
-hörts euch einfach an....it's definitely dirty and childish,so it me, definitely

13. How is your life going?
°Frank Sinatra - One for my baby°
-well, a bit

14. What song will play at your funeral?
°Deftones - Lucky you°
-hehe, *if you feel lucky, come and take me home*, it should end when it gets best, right?

15. How does the world see you?
°Glenn Miller - In the mood°
-hmm...sounds good...sounds right :D


16. Will you have a happy life?
°Mel Torme - Tutti Frutti°
- sounds like it's gonna be full of fruit-ice, won't complain :)

17. What do your friends really think of you?
°Belle and sebastian - mornington crescent°
-don't get the sense of this song...perhpas they don't get the sense of me?


18. What song describes the person you’re attracted to?
°Ray Charles - Hit the road jack°
- hehe, that reminds me of....it's true, I can't stand guys without money, no kidding,I hate guys in general

19. What message would you like to tell the next generation?
°Deftones,incubus, pod - Spacecowboy°
-??? sounds fun

20. Do you have a deep dark secret?
°Paul Anka - Diana°
- OMFG! - no comment

21. Do people secretly lust after me?
°Frank sinatra - new york, new york°
- people in ny? don't know anyone there....shit


22. How can I make myself happy?
°Coolio - Uh La La°
-oooookay????

23. Will I ever have children?
°Beatsteaks - run,run°
- hehe, yeah, I hate children,i'm gonna run away from them

24. What's some good advice for me?
°Clawfinger - Pin me down°
- does that mean *** ???

25. How will I be remembered?
°Norah Jones - 7 years°
-*she's a little girl with nothing wrong and she's all alone*, sounds baaaaaad

26. What is my signature dance song?
°Nick cave and the bad seeds - are you the one that i've been waiting for°
- thats ... so ... slow ... um....I never danced slow...

funny, funny, scary, but funny

location: home mood: tired music: pc breaths hard

I'm sooooooooo stupid, why can't I start learning at least 5 weeks before my examination so I have ENOUGH TIME?! WHY?!!!!!! Now I haven't even got the time to read through the interesting stuff, that's really sad, but I'll make it,I hope, I hope I'll be able to remember all those formulas and shit. god how stupid I am. If I don't make it I'll kick my ass over the alps down to the southpole and then I'll freeze it so I won't be able to stand up and do something else from learning.
I learned like 8 hours today, and to pack all that information into my brain I guess that the next days will look like this one, FULL of reading, remembering, hopefully understanding and telling myself how stupid I am. I don't see why I should short my life-fullfilling activities, though, just because of this examination. I can do it a second time...and a third one, but no, i'll make it, no prob, i hope. my mom would kick me...shouldn't have eaten the guarana chocolate....me stupid girl. my head only hurts when I turn it to the left side...*turning it to the right*
Friday's rockbar, and saturday's culture night, and next tuesday is jamming....I'll learn in between, and no alc....can you believe I can't remember a few hours from last-last thursday? wtf? this always happens when I party A's examinations or birthdays, I end up with a broken memory. I guess iits the vodka combined with tequila cause I never had this effect (2nd time in my life now) with pure vodka. And I don't really want to know what I did with the guys who were sitting next to us, and I hope A was joking when she said I kissed M....fuck.

location: home mood: tired music: night sounds (cars...)

well, my flatmate made the examination,and got 1.0, what was clear (to me). We went drinking and to the cinema at that evening (thursday), cinema: volvere, a movie by some really good spanish producer, and the movie was really strange, but I liked it, though i guess I liked everything that evening because I was so drunken I'm not really sure how we got home, but i think i can remember some flashes of a taxi. well, last night then we went to rs again, with M and S and itwas pretty fun, the music wasnt as good as last week, buuuut there were like 3 guys who, well, wanted to, well, nothing bad I believe. One of them I actually found cute, but I turned him down. I think he was not older than me, but he already danced with some girls that evening, well, after I ignored him, buuuut,that doesnt matter, i had fun anyways,though I think i'm acting pretty sick (sick in the head), but as thats nothing new Im not really alarmed. got to bed at 6 and was at uni at half past 12, learned with friends, it was veeeeeery funny,i really like those people. and I love my life at the moment,im feeling so lucky, i love the music I can hear,i sing aloud (very loud) to mando diaos stuff (especially god knows and down in the past), smile all the time,although im pretty behind with learning, but i'll manage it, no preoblem :)
and now im listening to björks "oh so quiet" which is probably one of the best songs about love, it just nails the point,hehe
I'm just so tired, but not enough to sleep like a baby i guess,we'll se :D

location: home mood: content music: björk - Oh so quiet

6.5 hours of learning should be enough for today, right? I would liketo do more, but no, ...not really. I'll get out a bit and eat döner while watching this beautiful city from some hill. ah, beautiful

wtf?! okay, the following is a dream. it has no need of being logical or coherent. I can't remember everything anymore, but here's what I still know.
I am in a cellar and see about 30 children (8 years or so) in kuckuks-clan-like (spelling?) dresses with candles in there hands, they can't get out.
I'm upstairs again. In a house I don't know, there are a man and a woman. I see the woman loading a golden gun with 2 huge golden cartriges who have the size of dildos, and pretty much the same shape. I feel like I have to kill them both, and I think I shoot the man with that gun, i'm not sure, but I definitely kill himsomehow, then I try the same with the woman, I'm holding the gun at her forehead and she alreday looks dead, but the gun won't fire. Then I lower the gun and see something like a round depression without skin, only white bone on her forehead. I put the gun there again and pull the trigger with all my force but it scarcely moves, I feel sweat and I can't pull stronger, i take the gun off again and see that where the bone was, was now brain. I look at the guns front and see that the cartridge is only like 2 cm out. I think she stands up again, and I get the mocrowave from the kitchen that looks like ours and hit her on the head with it, she lies on the floor and I hit her head a few times until the mocrowave is broken, but I feel like her head doesn't look crashed enough, so I smack the TV, which is very heavy, on her head, a few times until her head is almost flat, but there's not much blood. I think I saw someone at the window watching me,a man. I pack my stuff for learning, and 2 backpacks, so I can change them, so the police won't find me. I run out and theres a place where also buses drive and someone's waiting for me at the car, I think she looked like the woman I just killed, she tells me to wait behind a blue, funny looking bus, but instead of waiting behind it, the door of it opens and I get in, stoop down and drive away with it, i'm lucky i've gotten away from them all. I see that the driver and one of the people driving with it are the same person, and I know him from university, he's laughing that I'm hiding, but he drives. To some cities, it feels now like I'm in schottland, and the bus ist going to Bode and Lickersfield or something. I'm scared the police could find me, that guy is there with a friend of him, and with him I get out of the bus and we walk the rest of the way, there are many hills and I think there's a policeman in the bus now asking the driver if he's seen someone. when we enter the city we look for a room. there's bed and breakfast for 5 €, pretty cheap, huh? we get inside and everythings pretty dark, there are tables facing us with candles on them, remind me of some church. I smile at the man at the front desk, and act happy. We get a room, and I'm thinking about letting that guy cut my hair short and fucking him, because they won'T put a woman with her baby in prison. that's all. but it's sick, and scary and i have to think the whole day about it.urgh.

location: home mood: headache music: silence

whohoooooo, I love those guys, just love them, great music, new album: ode to ochrasy, gosh, I can't stop listening to them and I'm so luckyyyyyyyyy. whoa. I'm at my moms for the weekend, no net there, but so I can at least, hopefully, learn...tat's the band by the way, they're from sweden, and I won't tell which one I like most, hehe, whoooooooooo, I know it's very teenie, but he's cute *gggggg*

location: home mood: cheerful music: down in the past - mando diao

have been at my dads, we've been buying stuff for the speakers he's building for me. We've also been playing on the playstation he bought me for birthday. It was really nice. I got myglasses repaired and was in a goog mood the whole day. I'm so lucky I've got a date for my examination finally. 29.09. I started learning a bit today, but I#ve got to do definitely more. Doesn't seem likey anyone is going to be here on the weekend *sigh* so at least I can learn.
I finished Stephen King - Duddits, it's really a good book, pretty gross at some points but I couldn't stop reading it till I was finished. it's about aliens and 5 friends what sounds shitty, but I's really thrilling. Well, and disgusting, but only if you imagine it in too real pictures...
My room smells for beeswax, as I treated my new board with it, so it wouldn't scuff so fast.
Well, it smells good, but too much! I have to leave the window open and its fucking cold...shit

location: home mood: tired music: Mando Diao

been in hospital since friday, because I've got a thyroxinehyperfunction. I got to eat radioactive iodine, so the beta radiation could destroy my thyroxine. the problem is just that it also radiates gamma rays when it decays so i had to stay in a separate part of the hospital for some days so i put noone at risk. i'm not allowed to go too near to kids and pregnant girls for a week or so because I'm still *beaming*. But I feel very well, it just sucked cause I wasn't allowed to go anywhere or to see other people even at my station....well thats life. And I had to do a pregnancy test!!!! OMG, I thought, am I maria?! NO, and now the know that too.... Then my mom picked me up, after I've been waiting for her like 20 minutes in the entrance hall and we went home, where she felt like cleaning up my room and telling me what to do, what I found rather funny, cause I put back everything when she's gone. We went to ikea and bought a board for my cloths wich kinda seem to breed, then we went shopping for grandma and granddad, just some shirts for my mom goes and visits them. After some food my mom brought me to g, where I thought I could cheer her up a bit as she was very depressive again. I don't think she would really kill herself, but I think she's very unlucky and I don't want her to be. We talked alot, ate some chocolate, played some game, and talked again, I love to make people laugh, we finally measured our thighs, and strangely mine are only like one half cm thicker in the radius. If you measure around my thigh right under the bottom it would be 59.5 cm. that sounds for me like almost one meter, but it's not THAT much, and I think I can live with it. I went home pretty late where m was already waiting, watching 'my greek wedding'. I could finally use our internet again, and found out that the professor I wrote to due to an oral examination, didn't write me back yet, but R did finally write fom malaysia, what definitely cheered me up, but I hate him for getting payed (I'm sure they pay it) an appartment right next to the jungle but with a pool. I HATE HIM. though he's got a gorgeous body *g*.

location: home mood: jealous music: none